Overcame Major Trauma

Recovered from a Nervous Breakdown and Healed Childhood Sexual Abuse

Before I discovered Maia and YOU University I had been doing a lot of soul searching and really trying to figure out just who I am and what I really wanted in my life.  I felt like I was hanging on to the edge of a cliff by my fingernails and that if “something” didn’t change for me soon, I wasn’t sure I could stand it or if I wanted to even bother anymore.

I had been feeling this great sense of loss and confusion for a very long time, but especially for the most recent couple of years after having experienced a complete nervous breakdown.  I would say that this was my very lowest point emotionally, physically and spiritually and that it was taking me a very long time to recuperate from that breakdown.  It was sort-of a combination of mid-life, empty nest syndrome, major life-transition STUFF.   I was buried in it.

The founder of this program asked me to assist her in launching her new business as she was transferring from California to Oregon and was completely new to the area.  It felt good for me at the time because I needed to have purpose and I really was drawn to what she was teaching about The Law of Attraction.  I had been reading and researching The Law of Attraction and was inspired and excited about it.  I discovered though, that the principals were not working for me – no matter how I applied myself.  Something was missing.  I didn’t like the way I felt when the founder would ask me a question and after sharing my thoughts, if they were at all negative, she would tell me to stop right there.  She told me that nothing in my past mattered in the least… she didn’t want to hear my story at all.  She said that all that mattered was to attract what I want NOW.  Although part of this rang true for me because I certainly did not want to dwell on negative thoughts (which is what came up automatically for me because of my past), her words made me feel very small and insignificant as a person.  When she told me to ‘stop’ sharing my story, the words cut like a knife.  The last thing I wanted or needed was to feel even worse about myself than I had already been feeling!  I knew I had to keep looking for something that would help me to get beyond where I was so I could allow myself to get to where I wanted to be!!

My whole life seemed to rest on whatever I could find that would help me move beyond all the pain, shame, fear, grief, and anger that had built up in me over all my life.  I wanted to like myself, to find some semblance of good in myself and my life!  I truly struggled to see anything good or right and the “happy, good moments” were much too short lived.  I was so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired!  I was craving something, anything…  I just wasn’t sure what that was exactly.

That’s when I discovered the journaling community through a post I read on Facebook and began to share with ‘virtual strangers’ some things I had not been able to share with anyone, other than my counselor before.  I read the other member’s journals and started to feel really comfortable on the site.  I began to really explore the entire site and loved what I was reading about YOU University.  I had to know more and contacted the coach whose post on Facebook drew me to the journal engine.  She answered my questions and suggested I speak with the founder, Maia Berens, a woman she completely admired and was excited to refer me to.

There was something about this program that spoke to me.  It was as if it was written just for me and I loved The Three Magic Secrets movie.  What I read and heard from Maia spoke to my heart and appealed to my senses.  I couldn’t stop talking about it with my husband and my kids…  I was feeling an excitement I had not felt in a very long time.  After my call with Maia, I knew I didn’t want to wait any longer to begin this journey and my husband supported that decision – as long as I was willing to find a way to pay for it.  I decided I would work part time to pay for the program and apply whole-heartedly in my efforts to heal and to find myself.

As I started going through the exercises, I began to learn new ways to deal with emotions I had always tried to escape from or cover up.   Accepting that Life is a School was a big AHA for me and learning powerful tools to use when I started to resist or feel ‘stuck’ in emotions slowly began to change my entire perspective.  A couple of the most profound tools for me – tools I will continue to use for life are the MONSTER Letters, LOVE Letters and the Find-the-Gift Exercises.  Writing my ‘life story’ in the way it was done and referring back to it throughout my journey was HUGE.  What I discovered is that the story, as I wrote it, has evolved for me.  I moved out of the victim mentality I had taken on as a little girl and carried with me my whole life, from an infant to a 45 year old woman!!  I learned the power of gratitude, of having friends-in-deed, of forgiveness.  I would never have believed I would ever be able to say that I truly forgive my father for the abuse my family and I endured at his hands – physical, sexual and emotional abuse.  I certainly never even realized that the person I most needed to forgive was ME!  I learned to love myself just as I am and to accept the little girl inside who needed to be accepted and nurtured for who she was all along.  I learned that I had no reason to be ashamed for my past, for not knowing what I didn’t know.  I learned to view my father and others who had ‘victimized’ me in a new light as well!

I also learned the importance of setting healthy boundaries.  To be self-loving created a whole new mindset and allowed me to take off the ‘rose-colored’ glasses, be completely real and be okay with that.  I have so much more respect for MYSELF and it allows me to be a better mom, grandmother, friend, lover and coach.  I discovered who my true friends are and who I needed to leave behind too.  I learned that I DO want to be healthy and absolutely deserve to be!  I learned that I AM valuable as a person and that my passion is to help others discover their own value.

This journey saved my life, literally.  I love Maia and her beautiful, life transforming, emotion-based coaching program – YOU University!  I am very proud to represent YOU University as a life coach.   I have seen, first-hand, my life and the lives of others completely shift and transform.  It is a beautiful thing!
Gina Nonemaker, Emotion-Based Coach

Forgave the Apartheid Government

It has been a journey and a half. I have learned so much about myself by using the tools provided at You U. I have learned to own my success not just my failures as was the case before.

I have learned that perfection is an illusion not worth pursuing and that Failure as it i viewed by the world is not a death sentence.

Most importantly for me, I have come to realise that there is no such thing as failure but there are many opportunities to learn to do something satisfactorily – note that I did not say RIGHT.

If I am satisfied with it, then it is right and anyone who sees it or think differently about it is right too. I hope they are satisfied with what they think. I just ask that they do not try to convince me to be satisfied by what they think or feel – it will be an exercise in futility. I am not sure if this serves as a grades speak as testimonials go, which goes to prove my point.

The journey to self is a very arduous one. It can only be taken when one is truly ready to look at themselves squarely in the eye for exactly who they are. If you are not there yet there aren’t enough tools in the world to make you have a fulfilling life.
We are the microwave generation. We want it yesterday – all perfectly done and dusted with a ribbon around it. Sadly, that cannot be the case.

For me the journey has been worth it. My children are the best testimony of my transformation because they have asked to be coached. I have had to tell them, I cannot be the one to coach them because I am at the centre of their pain and they need to feel free to call me by whatever name they choose to without any hindrances. Does this give you a picture? I hope so

I do not have words of wisdom, I have an experience to share and that can fill books. I am so at peace with who I am and where I am going. I understand that there will be valleys but that does not ruffle my feathers as it would have, had I not taken the course.

I will be very amiss though if I do not indicate that this journey has been orchestrated and directed by God. He had steadfastly guided me on which way to go and has kept His steady hand on me even when I felt like giving up.

I would definitely recommend taking the journey because what is on the other side of the valley is truly breath-taking in its magnificence.

Thabi Zikalala, Life Coach, East London, South Africa