August 25, 2015
Starting in November of 2014, my darling husband had a growth under his arm. He went through much pain as time went by and other vvery unpleasant experiences with the whole thing. He had accepted that someday we die. He was 80 and on August 25, 2015, he left this life as we know it. As I am writing this it is six weeks since that happened. I have gone through much on the emotional, physical and spiritual levels. I am learning how to be alone although when I am peaceful and centered, I'm very aware that he is with me. Someday I'll probably write more about this but for now, this is enough.
I've had much love and support since Bart transitioned. I have one friend, Beth Fortman-Brand, who has called and/or texted me every day since July 24, 2015 when Bart had a heart attack from blood loss. One of the YOU University coaches, April Julson, you can see on our website and writing here in YOU University called me every morning for four months and continues to call every other day at this time (2/19/16) to "have coffee" with me. I live in California. She lived in Missouri.
It is love that propels them to give me so much love. They have heard me cry, whine, be everything emotionally that one can be. As time goes by I am more stable and more able to be alone and loving myself and being comfortable with it.
My life is about my growth and continuing to become all that I can be and help my clients and coaches be and do the same. My "final" big issue is allowing myself to receive financial abundance from the creativity and talent of my soul - to fully support myself in the style I want to which I want to become accustomed. So both April and Beth continue to support me in that direction by reminding me my worth and how to continue to "erase" old programming. I must be succeeding because an amazing thing has happened earlier this week.
April had told me about Periscope, a phone app created by Twitter that was used for social networking via video. I had put the app on my phone but didn't really get it. That day, a Monday, I had had one of the grief dips that happen periodically whenever they feel like it and I was coming out of it and decided to lie down for a little bit. I took my trusty phone with me and the impulse to look at Periscope entered me. I opened it and decided to record to see what happens. I started talking about how I felt and it made me cry. I turned off the recording and put my phone away. Later that day this is what I discovered. Chalene Johnson, "Life Changer | Motivational Speaker | Author | Fit Life Professional...", who is the queen of Periscope saw my video, featured it because of its authenticity and told people to follow me. Tuesday and Wednesday I was trending on Periscope and today, Friday, I had over 20,000 followers and over 300,000 hearts. My journaling community was bustling, I have a gazillion new Facebook friends and likes on my page and another of my coaches, Gina Bendel, is arriving tomorrow (we've never met in person and have worked together for 5 years!) and both of us are going to Chalene's Smart Success event which just so happens is nearby and in only two weeks.
UPDATE October 2017:
Grief does not let one decide it's path. And wow! have I had a crazy and often terrifying journey. I am grateful to report that although I would have loved to market myself when my 15 minutes of fame occurred, that was not to be. I have only fairly recently been able to return to work. I am very grateful that I apparently have landed and my grandchild living with me, the love and support of friends and family have helped me back into the world again. I am grateful
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