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Relationship Support for Me and My Martian

healthy relationships relationship secrets Dec 09, 2020

My Martian and I had certain times that we set aside just for our relationship support. Every morning before school we had a little sacred time together. It certainly is not the same as a weekend in the country but it created a beautiful everyday-ness to our lives. The Martian left for work at around 6:30 a.m. We got up by 4:00 a.m. to have enough time to do what we did without him rushing off and us not having a few minutes to connect.

It's at these little meetings that we caught each other up on what was happening in our lives, planned events and even planned a little bit into the future - like going to visit our kids over the holidays.

In the past he had been at such a high level of stress by the time the semester was over, it was important that he had the time off to relax. Finally, after 8 years of teaching, he wasn't that stressed. He taught until he was 80!

In the past when he was on vacation, I had trouble adjusting to having him in my "workspace" - our home, but we learned how to do this.

How does this all refer to Secret #5, 9 and 11?

Secret #5 - By discussing what he's thinking about into the future, the Martian was respecting me and my desires and our sacred time.

Secret #9 - By discussing what he was thinking about into the future, the Martian is making sure our sacred time was cared for. Certainly, during the 2-month work breaks, we had more of that then when he was working.

Secret #11 - We were both following our own path. The Martian had a need to road test a new class in Robotics and doing it when he was not working full time was great self-care for him and me remaining aware of my his-needs-are-more-important tendencies are important to that pattern dissipating.

These are the ways that we had relationship support. It was important for me to not only respect the Martian's time and visa versa but also needed to be aware of the individual path I must take. Being aware of both simultaneously allows us to be supportive of our relationship.

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